Impostor syndrome is a strange thing. It makes talented, competent professionals believe that they can’t do their job, that their hiring was somehow a mistake, and that they’re about to be exposed and fired. Impostor syndrome can occur in people working in any industry, but it can be a particular problem in software development where people who are used to being very high achievers in school and previous jobs may temporarily struggle when switching to a new team or company or experiencing some other change. This will obviously cause problems for the person experiencing the syndrome, who may start to experience depression, anxiety, low self esteem and generally having their quality of life lowered, but it is also a problem for their employer who could lose a valuable employee due to burn out (from the sufferer trying too hard to overcompensate for their imagined failings) or from them resigning, in the mistaken belief that they’re about to be fired anyway.
What is impostor syndrome?
Impostor syndrome was first identified in a study in 1978 by Pauline Rose Clance & Suzanne Imes called ‘The Imposter Phenomenon in High Achieving Women:Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention‘. Although that study focused on high achieving women, later studies showed that the phenomenon also affects men, as well as people of both genders from other demographics. Sufferers typically experience severe self-doubt and difficulty acknowledging their own achievements. Any successes they have experienced are dismissed as good luck, being in the right place at the right time, or actually down to someone else and incorrectly attributed to the sufferer. Any setbacks are blown out of proportion and attributed to the sufferer being ‘no good’ or ‘not deserving to be here’.
It has been suggested that up to 70% of people experience impostor syndrome at some point in their career, including high-profile celebrities such as Robbie Williams and Michele Obama.
Valerie Young identified 5 types of ‘impostors’ – The Perfectionist, The Expert, The Soloist, The Natural Genius & The Superman/woman each with a slightly different take on why they believe their accomplishments don’t count.
Have I got impostor syndrome?
If any of the following statements sound true to you, you may be experiencing impostor syndrome:
- Someone made a mistake when they hired me.
- Everyone else here is more talented.
- I keep making mistakes.
- I’m a fraud and I’m going to be fired.
- They thought I was good but I’ve just been lucky so far
What do I do if I have impostor syndrome?
Relax
If you’re suffering from impostor syndrome the first thing I’m going to say is to relax. You are competent, you can do your job, even if you don’t feel like that’s the case right now.
Secondly, I’m going to say you’re not going to be fired. Seriously, even if you were the worst-performing employee in the world (and I don’t for a minute believe you are), firing and replacing people is a painful, expensive and risky process and one most companies go to great lengths to avoid. The only time I’ve ever seen anyone fired, encouraged to leave or failed probation was when they had a poor attitude or work ethic and their continued employment would have had a negative impact on the rest of the team. If you’re worried about your own performance then clearly that isn’t the case with you.
All good companies assume that new employees will take a while to get up to speed. All good companies accept that existing employees will experience issues from time to time that affect their productivity, but is that even the case with you? One of the core problems with people experiencing impostor syndrome is that they can’t recognise their own achievements. It’s possible that those around you think that you’re the highest performer on the team, but you’re beating yourself up because you let one low priority bug slip through to production (whereas most of your colleagues are happy if a newly deployed feature comes with less than 5!)
If you’ve recently changed jobs, or job roles, perhaps you’re comparing yourself to the more established members on your new team, or perhaps to your own performance at a previous job. No-one comes into a new company or new team already knowing all the procedures in place, the technologies in use or the code bases being worked on. Everyone needed time to get up to speed and those amazing deductive leaps you’re seeing from your colleagues are only so effortless because they’ve already had to go through the hard, slow process of learning it all already. Even if you’ve started at a similar time to someone else and they seem to be doing better, that probably just means that they’ve seen more similar things before in previous roles.
Alternatively you may be focusing only on your own mistakes and other people’s achievements and not noticing (or not remembering that you’ve noticed) that those around you are also making mistakes sometimes and you are also achieving things. Perhaps someone else you’re working with is thinking that you’re the one finding everything so easy and they’re struggling!
Look for the positives
It’s easy to get hung up on the mistakes we’re making and forget about what we’re getting right. What can help is to start keeping a diary of only your achievements throughout the working week. Fixed a bug? Write it down. Found a bug? Write it down. Completed a code review for someone? Write it down. You get the idea. Resist the urge to put qualifiers, like how long it took, or any mistakes you made along the way. You might be surprised how quickly these achievements mount up. If not, don’t worry – you’re probably still having trouble recognising your achievements. That doesn’t mean they’re not there – just that you need a bit of help identifying them.
Ask for help
In fact you should ask for help twice.
Firstly ask for help with anything you’re finding difficult with your job (even if it’s multiple things). Your manager will thank you – it’s much better to have someone highlighting that they need help so you can do something about it than have them struggle for a long period of time and have a piece of work left unfinished. This might be hard, especially if you’re used to being the one that people ask for help, but once it’s done and in the open you’ll probably feel a lot better. If you have a daily team stand-up or similar meeting, that can be a great way to bring it up. No need to make a big deal of it – just say something like ‘I’ve been working on x but I’m not quite sure what I need to do about y, is anyone able to pair or work through it with me?’. If you don’t have daily stand ups you’re probably best off talking directly to someone (or emailing, or instant messaging) like a manager, supervisor or team lead. Again, no need to make a big thing about it, just a quick note to let them know you’re having trouble with something and asking for advice will be fine.
Secondly, ask for help with how you’re feeling. While the self esteem and anxiety issues that can be part of impostor syndrome aren’t unusual, they aren’t normal and you shouldn’t have to put up with them. If you broke your foot you wouldn’t just ‘push on through’ and hope it got better on its own. You’d see a doctor and get it fixed. Your mental health isn’t any different to your physical health – you’ll be much better off if you use the services available and intended for this purpose to get well again.
If you have a friend or family member that you would be comfortable discussing the situation with then that can be a good start. This is the equivalent of asking for a hand applying a bandage or checking out a bite on your back – they might not have extensive training but they do have life experience and can offer sympathy and a second opinion. Often just talking honestly to someone about how your feeling can be a big help and that might be all you need for now. If not, you’ve taken the first step and perhaps they can support you with the second (like if they were to give you a lift to the local minor injuries unit but perhaps I’m stretching the analogy a bit far now.)
If you don’t have anyone in your personal life you’re comfortable talking this over with, or you’ve already spoken to someone and they’ve suggested you talk to someone with more specialist training there are a number of options open to you. Some employers offer access to a mental health helpline as part of the benefits package, they may also have trained mental health first aiders on staff in which case they can be good sources of advice. If not, then your GP can refer you to an appropriate therapist, or there are many private therapists available on a pay-as-you-go basis who will see you without a referral, just search [your location] therapist and you’ll probably see a number of options to choose from.
Hopefully this article has helped to explain a bit about impostor syndrome and, if you are currently experiencing it, given some reassurance. The one thing I hope that anyone suffering from impostor syndrome or any mental health issue takes away from this is the importance of talking to someone. You will feel better for it, I promise.
